Romans 12:17-21
Do you have any enemies? We don’t want to focus on them, but we also can’t ignore the fact that they exist. Maybe they exist primarily in our heads and not in reality, but we live in our heads and we still have to deal with them. I have a friend who once said, “I have to pray before I mow the lawn. I know that during that time when I don’t have to think about anything immediate, I will be tempted to rehearse every wrong ever done to me.” I pray before I mow my lawn too. It’s the prime time for the devil to play with my head.
For example, if you have experienced divorce, you have plenty of hurts to revisit. My divorce story goes something like this: I was interested in a lovely, vivacious young lady. Once during our courtship, I noticed her act somewhat romantically toward a woman. We talked about it and she was offended that I would suspect that she might be homosexual. I was mollified, accused myself of being too suspicious, and decided she just needed a good honeymoon with me. (How stupid and arrogant of me.) We married and I wondered why she cried her way through our first night together.
Fifteen months after our wedding, I found out why. She had me sit down. She said, “Do you remember what I told you about my old boyfriend, Josh?” I certainly did. They had a lot of fun, romantic adventures. “Josh’s real name was Carolyn”, she said. In the middle of this bomb that had just been dropped, totally exploding my world, I saw our three-month-old son, laying in a little baby chair on the table, watching the chandelier sway above him. For his sake I decided to fight to keep my marriage intact.
Let’s fast forward over all the affairs, betrayals, and legal tricks that left me homeless, penniless, and emotionally crushed. What I can’t fast forward over is the pain inflicted on two innocent children, five and seven years old, who had their family ripped apart and are both in therapy 40 years later.
So again, do you have any enemies? Have you been divorced, or betrayed by a friend, or cheated financially? Have you ever thought, “That’s not fair!” What response is God expecting?
“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone” (Rom.12:17). This may seem unreasonable, because our just and holy God expects fairness and hates evil. But His holiness is exactly why we should never try to help Him set things straight. He can do it better than we can. As Paul says elsewhere, ” Do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the thigs hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts, and then each man’s praise (or condemnation, I think) will come to him from God” (I Cor.4:5). God knows facts we don’t know. He sees heart secrets that we know nothing about. Helping Him correct wrongs is about as sensible as helping an expert carpenter make a cabinet. He will do it right and we won’t, so just do him the favor of getting out of his way.
In addition, there is this chilling phrase in the Lord’s Prayer we must remember: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. The dirt some offender has sprinkled on me is nothing compared to the mudslide I have dumped on my Savior, Who died forgiving those who abused Him. I want and need forgiveness; I better be able to share it with others. What I send around is what is going to come back around to me.
The Bible says that with this restraint, we “make room for the wrath of God” (Rom.12:19). Payback time will certainly come, “The Judge of all the earth will do right” (Gen.18:25); but He won’t collect my debts if I do it first. My enemy is dealing with a much bigger debt collector than me.
That’s why I pray for her every day. That’s why I hang a little ornament she once gave me on the cross that is opposite my bed. That’s why I hope she will clear her debts the same way I cleared mine – by coming to our Savior in repentance and letting Him “wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin” (Ps.51:2).
Her name is Nancy. I invite you to pray for her too.
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